August 25, 2008

• TGI Monday

  Today was interesting as it seemed that it took 4 days.  Partly, that has to do with the fact that I felt like a zombie.  A zombie that's terminally ill.  A zombie with the avian flu and a touch of ebola.
  
  I'll probably go to sleep in the single digits o'clock tonight to try to recoup some strength. And infuse some brussels sprouts into my system.  
  
  
  
  I didn't know brussels sprouts grew like that.  I learned something today.
  
  I am too sickly feeling to properly organize my thoughts into my normal Pulitzer diction so here are some random cool points.
  
  If you take the elevator to go one story instead of using the stairs please let me know.  I will be glad to chop off your legs with a chainsaw and donate them to someone more worthy. Like a hungry wolf with rabies. 
  
  Maybe I should get a chainsaw for defense at my apartment.  Can you imagine being a thief and coming into steal and then you hear a chainsaw start revving?  Even if you had a gun, you'd definitely run.  Because what kind of crazy mother f'er would have a chainsaw for defense.  An extremely crazy one.  One so crazy you shouldn't rob him.  
  
  
  
  I was thinking today about how much I hate bumper stickers.  They always say things that are stupid about politics or honor students or dogs or some stupid joke.  And they make me want to ram my car into the offender which makes my blood pressure rise thus hurting my overall health.  But how can I combat people who have bumper stickers?  It's like they say in the Torah - Fight fire with fire.
  
  So I made this bumper sticker.
  
  
  
  You can even go buy it from my stupid cafepress store, that would be funny.
  
  In work news, my goal of becoming secretary of the organization thingie at work is only like 18 hours from being made official.  My competitors have either dropped out or decided to change positions they are running for - leaving me uncontested.  It's kind of helpful to be so intimidating sometimes. 
  
  Now I have to try to make this organization not suck.  Which will be hard because I'm good at pointing out things that suck - not so much at making them stop sucking.
  
  Addendum: In an effort to start making things be cool instead of saying they suck, and because I had so much fun designing that sticker, I made this other one.  Buy it. 
  
  
  
  I'm not in it for the money.  I just want to spread the love of sweatpants to people of all walks of life regardless of race, religion, creed, or ability to buy sweatpants.

  • 6:50 pm
  • 1 Comment