September 28, 2010

  • Maelstrom

    I actually wanted to write about the finality of death, my fear of it (or lack thereof), the after-life (or lack thereof), religion, and a whole cornucopia of other topics I can't go over in 140 characters yesterday.  But then I ate a big bowl of cereal and yogurt and fell asleep.

    So a bit weird that the whole UT shooting thing go on today.  Definitely a bizarre scenario.  I thought about the prospect of a shooting at UT pretty often the whole time I was there (pre and post Virginia Tech dude), but in my imagination it never quite went down the way it actually did.

    I'll definitely be interested to see how this all hashes out.  The guy shows up with an assault rifle, shoots a few rounds off, then ends up just doing himself in on the 6th floor of PCL.  Note: it'd be pretty difficult to get the rifle in the proper position in the first place I'd think.  Note 2: the top floor of PCL was actually my favorite study place when I was going to school.

    The PCL was the closest library to me walking by my house, and I'd love to secure a big table by the window on the top floor for a decent view and for the ability to spread all my shit out.

    There are a few different theories.  Maybe the dude showed up with the plan to take people out, but then pussed out, or maybe thought better of it, or maybe he never planned to take anyone out at all.  Maybe he just wanted some attention to his suicide all towards some greater message or purpose.

    But, straight-away, it doesn't seem he has any facebook or anything of the sort, so it'll be interesting to see if there was any such explicit meaning behind it all.

    I remember the guy who flew his plane into the IRS building in Austin was a bit of a joke because he only took out 1 guy, and then his online manifesto was just a poorly-written, incoherent, declaration from what's seemingly a sore loser.  (Note: I don't remember this guy's name).

    I also don't remember the name of Virginia Tech dude off-hand.  I did research all of the stuff he left behind, especially his plays. "Richard McBeef" was a read full of unintentional humor and just absurdity, and I even watched some You Tube renditions of it that ended up coming out.  "Today is one fruity day!" being the standout line.  But that guy didn't really come with any big proclamation or meaning either.

    So if the guy from today left something behind, and the whole "shooting" thing was just to bring attention to it, then I hope it was worth his while.  The philosophy I somewhat adhere to (Absurdism) is inherently against suicide, but I usually think if someone wants to do themselves in, go for it.  But there's a lot of other cool stuff to do first if you've "given up" on life as it were.  At least take out your savings, drive out to Mexico, and overdose on some wild cocktail of drugs.

    The whole thing today did piss me off though.  I hate anything that hurts the identity of my school, which is a big part of my self-identity.  Then I get into the whole gun-law thing which I can go many different ways on, but it doesn't matter what way I lean because shit-all will come of it. 

    Which brings me to death.  That's a pretty strange concept, isn't it?