March 13, 2011

  • Thirty

    I'm really looking forward to being thirty. At 22, I don't think I ever wrote "I'm really looking forward to being 26", and that's because I wasn't (and still am not).  But thirty seems good.

    A couple of the dudes I work with are thirty and got their first kids coming this summer. That's must be a pretty mental feeling. Luckily I think I'd make a good dad because games of Tetris on facebook only take a couple of minutes, so they'll only have to scream a little while before I come sort them out. Plus having a kid requires one of my favorite hobbies: buying stuff.  Just yesterday I was disappointed that my friend having twins was only having chicks at her baby shower. "But I want to buy them stuff too..."

    They do have a registery, but somehow no major retailers are carrying onesies with my picture on them. Yet.

    Also about being a bit older, this other friend of mine is getting married (to a girl from my hometown, and he now lives in Houston), so he's trying to move back there. The problem with finding a job now is, we've both been working about 2.85 years, and that's long enough to not be entry level, but still too short to be considered a senior anything. That's why when you're thirty, you've got something like 6 years experience and are a hot commodity.  And being that I personally think I've only gotten better looking over time, and wrinkles look dignified on dudes, I'll be a physical hot commodity by that point as well.

    That's barring any freak farm accidents, stray fireballs, or any more heroin/donut binges.

    DID YOU KNOW, that people who report no income actually get MONEY BACK on their taxes? Case in point: the friends I stayed with last night.  Why can't the government just sync up the tax records directly to your facebook, then let me pick where I can give the money they're forcing me to pay more of? Oh well, I'll pretend they're getting their refund directly from my anti-refund, so that way I'll be like, "Oh yeah, your tax refund check deposited? Yeah, my tax money was just taken out, so you're welcome. How about a beer?"

    This upcoming Capitol 10K will be my fourth in a row. I need to start training because it would make me feel really good if I could somehow bust out my best ever time.  I sucked at it last year - I'm not sure why.  I think I had been thinking about training for the bike race at that point, or maybe was just lacking the eye of the tiger. So, equipped with new shoes (as my Nike Frees betrayed me at the Marathon and are on time out), I can hopefully come in with an alltime best and think something like, "Aaah, I may be getting older, but I'm getting better."

    They should make some sort of a "1st World Tax".  Then we all pay into it, and in exchange you get a passport to all the countries that are in it, and get to do some of the good stuff there.  Granted, I'd be able to go to the National Health Service in England for free, but they'd have no equivalent here. I guess they'd get to drive on our roads and be protected by our cops, but I think they're allowed to anyway. 

    I'll get this world fixed up eventually; you just wait and see.