June 12, 2012
-
Today Is The Greatest
Today was a better day. I didn't want to end my self so much.
I went running after work and when I looked up at the sky,I could see my son, Max.
I picked a gorgeous micro-preemie blue and white outfit complete with beanie for Max for his beanie, and as much as my inner logic says it makes no difference, my soul thing says he looks beautiful up there.
Here's what I can comeup with.
If there's no God, fair enough. We're biological, have some implanted morals for survival, and when we die that's that. But you know what, if there's a creator, he should be a good guy. And let 16 day old babies who didn't make his biological rules play up in Heaven upstairs.
There's really no lose for a dying little baby.
If he dies and its a nice good God, he gets to have some good time and be loved by his parens later and just be happy. If it's a bad God, then fuck him, and we're all fucked. If there's no God, then indifferent to all. But Earth is just almost too coincidental for no God. Or are we just happening to live in this coincidence.
You know, I'll never know or convince anyone, so I'll live at my best.
And today while running at the park, I looked up at the beautiful clouds and pictured my beautiful boy in them in his aweome costume I ordered him.
I will get a tattoo commemmoating him. He maid me wail cry. No one makes me wail cry. That dude was amazing. I feel better
