Being able to pinpoint a stretch of time that is undeniably life-altering won't be so bad looking back. In fact, some might say it's better than sitting with hands folded.

She stopped talking five days ago. Hasn't eaten for three. I open her eyes now and then. Blink them for her. She breathes. I check. I found an abandoned car near the field and ripped off the side mirror. That's how I check.

During the day, I still watch her. Keep the flies off of her. They're growing.

I haven't eaten as much either. But I don't feel bad. I get more than her, but she doesn't complain. We finished the corn and beans. Anything that would spoil we ate first. We were smart about it. We tried to keep our nutrition balanced. A person needs fiber. I told her I didn't trust the grass, but she said that dryed out - it should be alright. The protein is from rats. They've become slower, too. The flies can catch them.

I stay near the creek. We were lucky to find it. We tried living by a pond first, but the water is too stagnant. Dirty. Covered with flies. I told her we should keep walking - see what else was out there. She was reluctant but agreed. Our feet swelled. Too big for our shoes. Hers turned purple. Then blue. Now white.

We see birds. These don't sing, though. They just circle. But they are nice to watch. I lay and stare up into the clouds. They pass by, swirling. The birds just circle.

I know that no one will find us. I realized that. I'm not scared. I think we're some of the lucky ones. Atleast we have each other. We will always have each other.

We have a pretty decent class of new recruits. It makes me sad, because I remember when I was in a pretty decent class of new recruits (go back 3 years in time). Now, there are some positives.

Namely, I can give advice. Solicited or not. Here's what to do, here's what's not to do.

Smoke cigarettes inside the office? That's a... Not to do. But you might have hesitated.  You'll get a reputation.

Some people do the whole tobacco dipping thing at the office. They're called hillbillies.

There's a weird fine line between outlawing things, and keeping the economy going. Vices are some of the best ways to separate the mentally under nourished with their money.

For the record, internet shopping is NOT a vice. It's a necessity.

Why are bills all monthly? That's a bit too often. Corporations do quarterly, why can't I?

Oh well, I think all of my bills are auto-deduct now anyway. If I never write another check, it will be too soon. The only way I'd do it, is if someone asked for a cheque. I'd reward them for their spelling uniqueness by acquiescing. But then I'd spell my and their name with extra q's and u's so they couldn't cash it.

About Q's and U's, Words With Friends: fun game. Especially when you can fit in dirty words. A tit is a bird! I'll defend that to the grave.

Life goes too good to waste time sitting and analyzing sometimes. So don't do it.

I WILL be writing an entry to Machine of Death 2. It's going to be my big chance to earn $200 without cheating, lying, stealing, or passing hot checks. http://machineofdeath.net/mod2

Sometimes it's funny when there's an imbecile working at a restaurant and you're like, "Ugh, they are horrible, they should have a crappy mindless job like... working in a restaurant."

I haven't been checking out any new inventions recently. To busy kicking ass, but here are a few.

This chair uses solar power to charge your stuff while you sit outside. Couldn't possibly be worth it. I'd rather charge my cell phone by holding a lightning rod during a thunderstorm with my cell phone in my mouth.

This is supposed to be a cheap fake hand. Thanks, I'll stick with my hook.

This car thing tells you idiot things and is annoying.

I think technology has started to suck.

If there's one thing I've always loved, and always will - it's learning.

The thing is - there's just so much shit out there to learn!

I haven't even come CLOSE to conquering everything in history, yet. Not even freaking close. And that stuff isn't even the best stuff.

Animals are some of the best stuff. That's why I like series like Planet Earth or Life. They teach me what I need to know in an interesting way. And ALWAYS leave me in awe.

But there's so much more out there. That stuff is just about animals that are around now. I want to know about evolution, baby. We came from little amphibianoid type things, and just filled nitches of survival wherever the environment let us.

And the crazy thing - that's just ONE PLANET. There's nothing, NOTHING, to say our planet is all that special. Well, it's sort of special as far as the holding life things go. But we ONLY THINK it's special because of our crappy technology telling us that some of the stuff near us doesn't support life (as we know it to be supported).

We've only been doing good at technology for about 200 years, and the saddest part of my life is knowing I'll never see it evolve to the peak or crescendo where we can know everything about everything in the UNIVERSE.

Maybe that's for the best, because I can't take in all the knowledge as it is. Until I"m omniscient, I'll always stay a bit unsatisfied.

Funny thing. Check this out from September 24, 2008:

"I dreamt my front tooth got chipped.  What a stupid dream."

Lo and freaking behold. Less than three years later, my front tooth is kind of stupidly chipped. It looks like this:

I was going to try out as Frankenstein in a local theatre production, but they said my teeth were too messed up. Even the prostitutes I frequent need an extra shot of whiskey before they'll take my 20 bucks. Look, I know, I've learned my lesson.

Don't open packages of food, dvd cases, or safes with your teeth. Done. I won't, I promise.

I had a great business idea today. It's related to keychains. Keychains are cool, I have quite a few. Most of them just adorn my backpack as souvenirs, but I have atleast a flash drive on my actual keys.

But how about this:
A keychain that is a glass vial containing a live sample of the Ebola Virus!

You know, Ebola, aka The Black Death. The disease that killed a third of Europe and had everyone fearing walking skeletons from that point on.

How sweet ass would that be? Or a keychain containing polio. Atleast we're all immune to that (I think?) A keychain of HIV (too soon?).

Or how about a keychain that contains a capsule of cyanide? That way when someone is annoying you, you can just be like, "Look, I'm going to bite into my keychain of cyanide if you don't STFU." I don't recommend it as a pickup line, but awesome.

They have condoms as keychains already, so consider that market of perverts pacified.

Let me just say, last time I trusted someone with a condom from a keychain, it didn't end well. He might as well have just handed me his vial of keychain hepatitis C.

I went the whole day today without my iPod and did just fine. See, no addiction here. I just listened to podcasts on my phone all day. Psshhh.

Scheduled a dentist appointment. Finally will use my comprehensive insurance I've been shelling out for the last 3 years. I think by this time I've probably paid enough for titanium teeth. Or uranium even. Imagine if my brain was nuclear powered.

Here's what I can find looking at old blog posts. You don't know where, you don't know when, but things will happen that echo through the rest of your life (slight nod to Gladiator). Eight years ago, I was different but also the same. Eight years from now, I predict my life will be tilting a bit more towards the difference, but the happy-go-lucky ooze in my core.

X-Men: First Class - be good please. I've liked X-Men for nearly 20 years now. Since 2nd grade when this guy Marshall started talking about it. Then I remember someone twisting a mayonnaise packet and the mayonnaise flew in that guy Marshall's ear. He moved shortly after that. Unrelated, I think.

The majority of good guys I watch in the NBA now are younger than me. I knew that would happen eventually. It's strange, bittersweet. Most probably still have more kids than me though.  But alas, my window of getting drafted is almost slammed shut.

Manager's Special. The two greatest words a Kroger shopper can hear. Other than maybe "Fire! Fire!" That would be funny.

Today I bought some sushi at full price but mixed it with some guacamole because it was on "Manager's Special".  I doubt the Manager has anything to do with the special. They just pay some retard 50 cents to walk around and check the expiration dates on stuff, and then mark it down.

It's too bad I never got a chance to work at a grocery store. That might have been fun. I had friends who did it, and they would break eggs in the 4x4 square foot area that the backroom cameras couldn't see, or pound Monster brand energy drinks, or put a bunch of beers in a trash bag, stick it in a dumpster, then ride their bikes back to that dumpster and get it later. This is South East Texas.

I worked at Toys 'R Us for a couple of weeks one Christmas. That job was pretty cool. They gave me some task of going around and taking inventory in the storage room. So I ended up sitting in a secluded corner for a few hours. This was the days before kick ass cell phones, so it was actually pretty boring.

I have to work on all these big drawings at work this week, and since I have LITERALLY 40+ binders in my cube, I don't have any room. So I commandeered this corner office that is unused. I think my coworkers who have a similar task but didn't find alternate space arrangements are confused/jealous. Note: I've found that usually, if you want to do something, no one will bother to stop you.

So anyway, I have been working in this awesome office with 2 full length windows. There's no computer, so I don't get distracted by e-mails or casual computer use, and I just sit and have worked like a champion. All-natural light instead of pumped-in, life-draining fluorescent. It's just like heaven. I don't want to go back .

I even put a sign that said "Temporary Work Space" on the door, reminiscent to The Office (both of them had this gag).

Watching NBA basketball for the first time this season. I was rewarded by the announcer talking about D. Wade's good performance and going, "He's gone mad!" Now if only he'd have said, "He's gone mental!" Then we'd have something.

Seriously, if I had been born just TWENTY YEARS earlier, have you the slightest idea how much different my life would be?

I mean, okay, twenty years isn't that bad. In 1991, they had some pretty alright videogames. But online shopping? Pssh, what's that? Ipod? Here, try this tape deck on for size. Pornography? Go to the adult store and stand around with your hands in your pockets with the other whispy-mustached, greasy faced, freakshows with trenchcoats on.

I go sometimes weeks without even touching cash. And you know what? I like it better that way.

Here's what I don't like. That class of sub-$10-an-hour urchin that mans the cash register at most places. Look, there's nothing wrong with working a crappy job for little money. But just because you're bored, I don't want you spinning my credit card around like it's a yo-yo whenever I'm trying to pay for some beef jerky. It's your filthy paws that wear my magnetic strips down so quickly, which causes me more trouble with your register jockey brethren, and then eventually cause me to get a NEW CARD with NEW NUMBERS and then the freefall starts right over again.

Just get hopped up on some illegal prescription drugs or the occasional pilfered powder-donut/Marlboro Light combo like the rest of us.

Wait, my original point, I like to buy things online. Imagine having to find a store that had all the stuff I want? Well, I guess I could just look it up online... NO YOU CAN'T because in my hypothetical 20-years-ago scenario, online does not exist.

I was going to go into something slightly more important, but I'm still not good at wordifying everything. That's for other people to do and post online.

Addendum: Literally minutes after writing this, I noticed that the delivery dude had put a new package that I ordered online out on my porch. A fancy shampoo that Kroger stopped carrying because Kroger should never have been carrying fancy shampoos in the first place. See, that's service with a (presumed) smile.

Addendum 2: I was going to write something really great but then I all of a sudden forgot it. Fix THAT, future.

Addendum 3: I used to say and feel that life is about experience, but now I think that might be one of the more selfish things I've ever heard. I used to would have replied that all you have and are is yourself, so there's no such thing as selfish, but now I'd probably call that guy an asshole.

Let me just put this out there, the real world. Ugh.

Sometimes I look around and think, "That guy is like 65, and he's been working here since he was my age. What IS the DEAL?" Does that mean that I'm at the pinnacle of life? That from now on, it's just a replay of the same day over and over with slight changes to the molecules that make up this mass I call a body? Probably on a macro-scale, but who likes macro-scales anyway?

One thing you have to be wary of in this modern world is emotions. Unfortunately, they were evolved into the human body. Why? I don't know. I guess you raise kids better if you are sensitive or something? I don't know, I try not to give life too much thought anymore. Thinking helps sort stuff out internally, but you gotta get it going going externally.

I am going to be 40 one day. That scares the living shit out of me. 40 year old self, if you're reading this, how's it going? I reckon it's just another day for you and you're laughing that 2011 you would write to you. But it's just scary you know? Being so old? (No offense) You realize you're way more than halfway into dying, right? Your best years are probably behind you? I mean, I'm sure the years were probably pretty cool, but you shouldn't live in the past.  By the way, 40 year old dudes can still be badasses. Brett Favre (remember him?) he was pretty old but still did well in football. And the guys from work in 2011 were over 40 and you thought they ruled. So keep your chin up, man. I'm sure they have a cure for baldness by now, so represent those golden locks like you never thought possible. Remember Thor from 2011? Wear your hair like that. Just for a little while, please. For me. Love you. Be good.