December 30, 2010

  • On E-Books

    I got a Kindle for Christmas which is awesome.  E-books are the way things should be.  To think: books were invented by Steve Guttenberg circa the middle of the last millennium, and not much changed since then.  Sure, you could make them easier, but as far as the product goes: still words on pages. 

    But alas, e-books are here now (or have been for the past few years only I am just getting them now so they are new to me) and it's time to embrace them! Books have knowledge and knowledge is power. Also, time equals money, and money equals power. So, do some algebra there and you'll find out that books equal money. Read books and get money.  Good by me.

    Here are some Pros and Cons between using an e-book reader and traditional books.

    Pro: You don't have to flip the pages.
    Flipping pages is boring. It's like getting the "now loading" message on your favorite adult website. You don't want it. You hate it. Get on with the action!

    Pro: Easier to read.
    I tend to read long novels that have been translated from Russian, and since no one likes them, they try to save money by printing like 2,000 words per page.  My vision is good up close (and blurs to 20/400 far away) but even I have trouble sometimes.  E-books keep one good font size throughout, so no problems there.

    Pro: Ease of getting books. 
    When you enter a book store you will often notice old people, hipsters, and old hipsters.  Oftentimes they don't have jobs and only have enough money for the coffee they drink while reading, rather than any of the books themselves. So they sit there, don't shower, and ruin everything.  Not to mention that I vomit at the thought of not buying anything online, because I know I'm getting ripped off.  But even when you buy books online, you have to wait. And wait. Not anymore. DOWNLOAD. Zoom. Success.

    Pro: Comfort.
    Sometimes my arms start to hurt when I hold a book up reading it.  And my hands start to hurt. So I have to turn on my stomach to read, but then my back starts to hurt a bit. Granted, if I read in a chair, a lot of this would be alleviated, but Winston Churchill once said: "Why sit when you can lay?" So, an e-book is pretty light and comfortable and the not-having-to-turn-pages thing (see above) keeps my arthritis at bay.

    Pro: No paper.
    Sometimes the paper on a book is crappy.  And then my fingers don't like the feel.  Or the paper smells bad, like the book was printed in the Dust Bowl circa the Great Depression.  Summary: Mo' paper, Mo' problems.

    Con: No trophy.
    One thing people like about actual books is that they can stick them on the shelf later. Then their friends come over and they can say, "Yep, I've read all those." Translation: "Yes, I read books. Yes, I've read THOSE books. Pay special attention to the thick ones. Yes, I'm smart." You lose some of that when you just download the books. But, with social media (I hate that phrase), you can just list the books you read anyway. But, it's nice to see your intelligence in the form of a bookcase.

    Con: No page numbers.
    Okay, this may not be a con, and I may just haven't been able to figure it out yet.  But since the book is pretty zoomed into on the e-reader, there's no consistent page number that is translatable to an actual physical book.  And I like knowing how many pages I've read based on the consistent scale I've had for the past 20+ years of being literate.  I like to be able to say, "Yeah, Brothers Karamazov was over 700 pages. *yawn* I'm so smart." But with this medium, you don't get that so much.  Back in middle school, you'd get extra AR (Accelerated Reader) points for reading the thick books, so those teachers are the ones who made it an issue. It's not my fault! Repeat it to yourself: IT'S NOT MY FAULT!

    Con: No firewood?
    I don't know. There aren't too many cons.

    I've only tried this one e-book reader, so I can't vouch for others.  I like that it simulates a real book experience by not being backlit (meaning a month of battery power on one charge).  Also, it's not a do-everything-but-do-it-all-mediocre device. It's there to read.  Not read and feed your NanoPet. Just read. The world may be better that way.  A device for everything and everything in its device.